Jonah Show in Print! – ‘Furious 7’ Review

The Rock. Diesel. Jonah Anderson. ‘Furious 7’

Jonah Anderson has the only review of “Furious 7” that matters. Let the Oscar talk begin….

Holy shit, that was awesome!

Furious-7

That’s pretty much my review of “Furious 7” in a nut shell, but I know I should expand a bit. The real challenge will be not expanding too much. I mean I wrote multiple pages on a two minute trailer, now I’ve seen the full two hour and twenty minute movie. So I’m going to try and keep it light and not go into a super amount of detail so that this doesn’t become the novelization of “Furious 7.”

The movie opens with an introduction to the villain Deckard Shaw (Jason Statham). He has beaten up an entire hospital’s worth of police officers, and he is talking to his now paralyzed brother from “Fast 6.” He swears revenge on the crew. Good luck, pal.

Then everyone’s favorite US agent Hobbs (Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson) is doing some paperwork. Only The Rock can make paperwork look this badass. Shaw shows up and this early in the movie we’ve got the fight everyone has been looking forward to. It’s a great back and forth fight, but Hobbs looks like he ends it with a Rock Bottom through a glass table.

 

Shaw tosses a little grenade though, and Hobbs has to save his female agent friend by tackling her through a window, five-to-100 stories off the ground, then taking the fall onto a car outside. So that’s how he got injured,  but I still think they cut the scene where he had just finished accidentally drinking a Kryptonite smoothie before the fall.

Next we have the crew chilling at their house. There’s a package from Toyko,  which Dom assumes is from Han. Dom gets a phone call from Shaw though, and his phone lets him know that he’s calling from Japan. The package is a bomb that blows up the family’s house. Luckily, everyone escapes the blast unharmed.

At Han’s funeral, Dom spots a car watching the proceedings and takes off after it.  He corners him in a parking structure and rams his car into Shaw’s. Dom gets out ready to brawl, but Shaw is a punk and is just going to shoot Dom. The Feds show up led by Kurt Russell and clear out Shaw.  Russell tells Dom that he needs him to get a hacker named Ramsey who has been taking by terrorists so they can have the “God’s Eye” and track anyone, anywhere, anytime.

Dom and the crew plan the extraction and this is the sky-diving cars scene. Pure awesomeness. They drop down and have a great action sequence, where they eventually get O’ Connor onto the bus holding Ramsey and free her. That’s right it’s a her, a smoking hot woman is a hacker. Take that, stereotypes.

O’ Connor has some issues getting off the bus because he’s fighting Tony Jaa.  I’ve gone over the sequence in detail on my review of the trailer, but O’ Connor jumps off of a bus falling off a cliff onto Letty’s car which is powersliding right on the cliff’s edge.

Ramsey says she sent the program on a drive to a friend of hers who is a Jabroni in Abu Dabi.  The crew goes there, then has to get the drive off of a car in a party.  The crew is discovered after Letty fights Ronda Rousey and the alarm is sounded.  Dom and O’ Connor have to get out of there, so they drive the car and jump it between three buildings through windows.  They get the drive and use it to find Shaw so that they can become the hunters instead of the hunted.

They track Shaw to a warehouse but are attacked by the terrorists that they took Ramsey from allowing Shaw to escape with the God’s Eye. Now it’s go time. The terrorists have God’s Eye and are coming to kill the crew and Ramsey. The crew does what they do best and drive around the city trying to evade a helicopter and an unmanned drone.

Dom and shaw face off in another parking garage, but Dom has learned his lesson. They drive at each other to crash again, but Dom wheelie’s his Charger and comes down on Shaw’s car. They shoot at each other while trapped in cars, but Dom backs off and they both get out.  Dom has a shotgun pointed at Shaw, but he’s no punk, he’s ready for a street fight. Armed with wrenches and pieces of metal, Dom and Shaw go at it.

The terrorists are blowing up the cars the team is driving in and they’re barely escaping.  It’s down to one car that Letty is driving with Ramsey in it. She’s about to get taken down by the drone when the cavalry shows up. The one man cavalry called Hobbs.

Hobbs takes out the drone, lifts up the machine gun that was attached to it and starts shooting up the helicopter.  The helicopter fires a missile at the parking garage because they don’t care about Shaw, they’re just friends not family.  Dom finishes the fight with Shaw by collapsing the parking garage on him and hopping in his Charger and doing a sick jump up to the helicopter and attaching a bag of grenades to the bottom. Hobbs finishes the job by blowing up the helicopter.

Dom is seriously hurt from the crash after the jump and not breathing.  Letty brings him back to life by telling him she remembers everything, including them being married. Shaw gets locked up in a maximum security prison and Hobbs tells him to start digging so he can punch him in the face and put him in a bodybag when he escapes.
The end of the movie shows O’ Connor playing with his son and his wife on the beach. The crew talks about how everything will be different now since O’ Connor will be staying with his family and not going on any missions with them.  It’s truly a hard hitting moment knowing that O’ Connor won’t be a part of any of the future movies due to Walker’s death. Dom takes off without saying goodbye, because “It’s never goodbye.”

O’ Connor catches up with him and they race off as there is a montage shown of O’Connor throughout the franchise.  At the end of the montage, Diesel continues on while O’Connor takes the exit back to his family. A powerful message about the two going separate directions.  A white screen shows a simple message “For Paul”.
In summary this movie is awesome.  People complain that it’s not realistic and such, but who cares?  It’s extremely entertaining, the only fault that I, along with most of my fellow die hard fans have, is that The Rock is not in enough of it because Hercules was filming around the same time.  But overall it’s a fantastic thrill ride with hilarious moments as well as very touching ones.

Vin Diesel is right, give this movie an Oscar. 9 stars out of 5.

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